God Damn It

I just made a huge post about how wonderful tonight is, my current wonderful thoughts, wonderful things that are going on and a whole bunch of wonderful shit then accidentally hit "back" and lost it. But to Sum Up:

-Tonight's the type of night where you feel bad for anyone that's asleep because there's few nights like this in a year and they're missing it. Like every night in Austin in October. You also feel bad for yourself because you're experiencing it alone. Like every night in Boston in September.

-I need to stop. I'm starting to seriously miss having a home. I'm too transient. I haven't lived anywhere for more than three months in the last two years.

-I might move in with Tyler, Tim, and Mel into this great place in JP. I also might move back to Texas. I'm an idiot, now and forever.

-I'm in the process of acquiring bands for a show on October 12 at the Midway. Currently enlisted are Big Blue Octopus and Peace & Quiet. Eat Cloud is very probable, I just haven't heard back from Andy, but that's in no way unusual behavior. Andy's the type of person where you're crossing the street in Ohio and he happens to be on the other side waving and saying "woah." I emailed Neptune to headline because if they do the place'll be packed and the aforementioned bands would get a lot of exposure with the right type of audience.

-I had a roll of film in my camera for the last four or five months. It starts in Montreal and ends on Lamartine St. Visual catalogue of my pesonal lack of direction in the last few months. Here's some winners:


Man Man at the Paradise. Wierd night for me.


Jess at her senior show. Wierd night for me.


Keanne and Mel in the back of my car. Good day for me.


Garce got in a car crash in LA and that scar is from his bones leaving his arm. He had to move home. Wierd.


Horror Movies and 40's and Asheville all over.


Remember that bug I was talking about?


Queechee Gorge. Great day for me.


Me in Queechee Gorge. Great day for me.


You thought you knew what sweet was.


Lamartine.

So yeah. The original post was all sappy and poetic and whatever. I got work to do.

I got Bless This Mess tattooed on my chest

Not really. So August barely happened. I think it's because I never really stopped moving the entire month. Since my triumphant return from a month of leisure and splendor in Asheville I wasn't ready to stop. I hit up New York, got pissed at it (thought I did shoot a video with Casey which turned out pretty good), went to Providence, loved it again, then got home. I spent a lot of time in Salem, met some new people, hung with the old and classic.

I spent three beautiful days in Vermont visiting my friend Becca and was constantly reminded about what's actually nice in life and what isn't. We camped every night in the rain, one night running for our lives from some hidden (imaginary) terror. Woke up to fog and sun and walked around tiny, lovely towns.

I came home wishing I didn't have to and started work on a new comic, a scathing review of my life in the spring. Its a reflection on how I basically did nothing but mope and drink from February til May when I finally realised that it was bogus and that I had been doing nothing for no reason, not for some person. It was my own decision to be shitty and being that way isn't going to fix anything that's wrong. Its called "Unproductive -or- My Sorry State In Spring 2008" and should be on shelves in Cambridge and Somerville in a week or two. 30p. Not bad. My most straight forward story ever since there's no monsters or blood or fights. Its good to look at the bad you and remember why you weren't like that before. I remember one night I was talking to Jess about something, maybe some fight I got into, and she said to me "What ever happened to going to the beach? Or flying kites?" And that helped me to get where I am now.

I drove to New York again to help a friend and left feeling horrible and alienated. I had a long, loud talk with myself for the six hours it took me to get home for some reason. I felt better when I got back.

I worked for a week and a half as a sculptor's assistant (helmicksculpture.com) and I can easily say it was the best job ever. Free coffee twice a day, free lunch, needless bonus pay and I landed free tickets to see Grizzly Bear at the MFA. And there were two cats in the studio. Dreamy. I saw Black Dice as well at MassArt and was terribly disappointed. I've seen them twice before and it was great, but this time... not so much.

The following week I spent three days at Alan's parents' beach house on Prudence Island and suddenly everything was great again. I felt like nothing was horrible and it was just good to hang with my friends like it was old times at Meatland. We grilled and watched cartoons and swam and I got pretty good at piloting a corical (a tiny circular boat). Lots of sunsets, lots of drawing, lots of writing, lots of reading. Just good times.

I got back too late to go to a wake I wanted to attend, but went to the fund-raiser the next day. The thing felt wierd and I left early. If you heard about a girl dying in Salem that was this girl I knew. No one should die yet. The Gulu, however, managed to raise 10k that night for her parents which is nothing short of amazing. Place was so packed I couldn't get JD's attention to pay my bill...

I spent the next day until sunday in Maine, bringing Lawrence back to the farm he'd been working on and to bring Mel home. It, too, was pretty wonderful, though I had hoped to score some cheap boots and found none. We had a nice surprise when we got there that Homefries and her friend Andrew were also coming back with us, with their bikes, but they had abandoned their bike rack in Bar Harbor. We played Apples to Apples and I managed to offend everyone somehow. There was lots of stars.

I slept that night with Lawrence and Mel in The Marshmallow, a tiny trailor the likes of which I hope to own one day. It was great except that I had a needlessly savage nightmare. One of those where you wake up and all you can think is what the fuck was that? I won't get into it. But I stumbled out of the trailor and into the most beautiful morning I can remember and felt intantly wierd. Still quivering from the nightmare but smothered in wonderful 7 am northern Maine on a farm. The Farm Mom had made blueberry muffins which I used to wake everyone else up so we could get to organizing the incredible ten pounds of shit we had to fit in a five pound car. Everything Mel owned, everything Lawrenced owned, a surfboard and two bikes. It took about 5 tries and the dog kept trying to get in. Such a good dog. But we did it and then went to Harrington? Beach in Scarborough. There were no waves and Tyler almost cried. I think we just came at the wrong time. The tide was going out, but the waves were breaking in the same spot, so if we came at high tide it would have been awesome. There actually were waves but at the time they were breaking about three feet from the shore.

I drove from there to Salem and got free Italian Ices from some new place that opened on Essex. Hung with JD and Brian, made a fire then went to JP when I got word Tim and Keanne had been baking pies. I got there and it was Corey's birthday so we drank a whole mess of mead but Tyler wouldn't sumo me. Piaxao fell asleep at some point, I got upset at some point (maybe aftershocks from the nightmare mixed with other things) and decided to just drive back to Wakefield for no reason.

I spent today applying for jobs in Boston, East Hampton, Asheville, Austin and Redrock and fixing my guitar. I've been working on it for six months and like most projects I put off, when I got back to it the solution was incredibly simple. It still needs a new 1/4" jack, but that's nothing. I'm starting a new band with myself and hopefully other people once I get it going called Human Hogan. Be on the lookout.

Speaking of bands I may be booking shows at The Midway in JP and Great Scott in Allston. That last one I might've imagined, but I think Natalie said that Ben said I could. So, if you need a show in a small place, I'm your man.

I'm reprinting DadMan Be Damned (this time with color covers!) and reapplying for the Xeric. The deadline is in 30 days. I got to mosey.

Tonight I began shading Unproductive then took a break and went to the beach. I sat down saw a shooting star and went home. Made some tea and started writing this.

I guess that's it. I'd say that's a pretty good month. Lets hope the next is >than or =to.